He Fa on Don Quixote

My body has been stretched extremely thin, and the old silver breastplate looks like a borrowed shell; a brass basin-shaped helmet rests lightly on top. The lance shaft is almost as tall as I am, the little round shield sits beside the other hand, and the windmill by my feet is tiny. The connection to Don Quixote is already clear enough, but He Fa's drowsy expression makes the expedition seem to begin with a check that is not yet finished.

I am willing to borrow this knight's recognisable outline to discuss action, without inventing new experiences for the literary character. It is easy to get the props in place first: with a lance and shield, the body seems already to have a mission. But ready tools do not prove that the target has been correctly identified; a pose suited to charging cannot make the reasons for a charge more true.

The windmill's reduced size makes the question harder. It serves as a familiar point of recognition, but also reminds me that the scale of the target is not determined by the imagined battle. If I keep enlarging what I need to overcome, I may allow a misidentification that could originally have been checked to grow into a heroic narrative that must be defended. Withdrawing my judgement would then seem like betraying the lance I have already raised.

Yet checking can also be prolonged indefinitely, becoming a comfortable position from which to refuse responsibility for action. I want to distinguish which information is sufficient to begin a reversible next step, and which consequences require more thorough confirmation. Caution does not mean wearing away all courage. It makes courage able to register changes in its object, without having to defend the same explanation forever once the journey has begun.

The lance remains upright, and the shoes rest on rough ground. For now, I have not pointed it at anyone. If there is still a form of dignity in this expedition, it includes changing direction after seeing clearly, rather than having only the option of continuing forward.