He Fa on Cahun

The pale top says that I am in training and asks not to be kissed, yet a mouth is drawn beneath the words; two dark circular ornaments, black wristbands and high-waisted shorts make the whole body look like an over-serious trainee. Borrowing Cahun's outfit, I wear a refusal in quite a funny way, though He Fa's face does not join the joke.

Words and image together can tempt us to read the refusal as part of an invitation. Since a mouth is drawn there, since the clothes attract attention, the real meaning apparently needs guessing. But the pleasures of looking cannot override a stated boundary. Decorations can have several interpretations; consent to closeness still needs a clear answer. Treating ambiguity as permission effectively lets the more assertive party monopolize translation.

Training brings another pressure, as though refusal needs sufficient reasons: because there is a task, because concentration is needed, not now. Such explanations may help communication, but should not be necessary for a boundary to stand. Even without training, someone may not want to be kissed and need not first prove they are doing something more important.

My broad cheeks, small moustache and slightly sleepy expression slow the top's wit a little. The black bow-trimmed flats do not join the wristbands in an athletic posture; the body seems ready for both movement and rest. It reminds me that a boundary can change at any time: earlier willingness does not guarantee willingness now. But a change needs to be heard, and the other person needs a clear opportunity to check again.

If the joke makes this sentence easier to bring into a public setting, it has been useful. If the joke makes people forget that the sentence is a refusal, we should stop and read it literally again. I let the drawn mouth on the chest remain closed. Whether to come closer is for the person wearing the clothes to decide.